An Italian, a Frenchman, and a Scotsman were playing
golf on a links course when
they spotted a stunning mermaid on the shore. They all dropped
their clubs and ran down
for a closer look. The mermaid was incredibly beautiful and voluptuous.
The Italian, burning with desire, asked the mermaid, "Have you
ever been fondled?"
"No, I haven't," whispered the mermaid. So the Italian walked
over and hugged and fondled her warmly. The mermaid said, "Hmmmm,
The Frenchman, not to be outdone, said, "Have you ever been kissed?"
"No, I haven't," answered the mermaid. So the Frenchman went over
and kissed her long and slow. "Hmmmm," sighed the mermaid, "that's
Finally the Scotsman asked her, "Have you ever been screwed?"
"No, I haven't," said the mermaid.
"Well, you have now," said the Scotsman, "'cause the tide's out!"